Unwind
by Loopylou
Summary: Kara and Lee have a heart to heart. Contains spoilers for late S2


**Disclaimer-- The song used in this fic is not mine. It is Pink's great song, Unwind. No money is being made from its use. The characters are likewise not mine.**

Unwind 

Kara walked slowly along the hallway, heart racing. Her palms felt damp and she wiped them on her trouser legs. It was her first day back on duty since accidentally shooting Lee. She passed people in the hallway, smiling a greeting that never reached her eyes when they spoke. Spotting Lee coming her way, she swore softly under her breath. He was the last person she wanted to see.

_I hide my pain like the rest of them _

_That's why I'm always laughing _

_I'm troubled, I'm brilliant and miserable too _

_That's why I am so funny _

_I swallow down all my fears _

_With a bottle made of silver _

_I've only been here for 27 years _

_But already my life is over _

Spotting an empty bathroom, she stepped into it. He saw what she was doing, and followed her in, closing the door behind them. Twisting the latch, he locked it with a faint clunk.

"Kara." He said. "We need to talk."

She sighed heavily. "Lee, please…" Leaning back against the counter, she looked down at the floor, keeping her eyes away from his face. Something akin to shame kept her from looking at him.

"No. It's not going to work this time, Kara." His tone was stern, voice soft. The odd combination made her glance up, and what she saw stunned her. Lee Adama had tears in his eyes.

_And I need to unwind, yes, and I  
I need to unwind, yes, and I  
Want all the time  
To be loved, to unwind_

She wanted to go to him, but fear and pride kept her firmly rooted to where she was leaning. Why was it so hard to hold back when it would hurt worse to give in?

"I said I was sorry, Lee." She crossed her arms. "It's not my fault if you can't accept it!"

"I have accepted it. I know it was an accident." His hand crept to the healing wound. "I want you to forgive yourself." He drew in a ragged breath, composing himself. "You need to get over this, Kara. You can't blame yourself for ever."

"And what if I can't?" Her voice was little more than a whisper, but he heard it. Crossing the distance in between them, he trapped her against the counter with an arm on each side of her. She backed up as far as she could, but couldn't break the contact between them.

_My life is like a fairytale  
That nobody believes in  
I can't remember anything  
Not the people, not the places I've been  
Just one more day you can make it, babe  
That's what I tell myself  
And everything that I love in life  
It is killing me, 'cause it's bad for my health_

"What are you so scared of, Kara?" He asked softly, using a gentle hand under her chin to lift her eyes to meet his.

She closed her eyes before she could answer him. "Nothing." Her voice was so soft, she didn't know if she spoke the word or just thought it.

"Tell me." He insisted.

"I'm not the person you think I am. I can't be the person you want me to be."

"Why not?" He said, pushing her.

"I hurt the people that I love." She blurted out. "Zack died because of me. You almost died because of me. I'm bad luck. I'm bad for you."

"I chose to forgive you. You need to forgive yourself."

"Why? Why let me off the hook, Lee?" She snapped, sudden anger driving away lethargy.

"Why not? You're better at punishing yourself than anything else would be."

The old wounds in her ran deep, the bitter scars never quite closing. In the moments when she let Starbuck take over, she could hide from that pain. She couldn't hide from it now. It bubbled up to the surface, each old pain hurting just as much now as it had then. She couldn't speak, but Lee saw something in her face and caught her as she let go.

They landed together in an untidy heap on the floor, her on Lee's lap. A constant stream of tears ran down her face. Laying her face against Lee's shoulder, she let herself weep.

_Somebody comfort me  
S...southern comfort me  
Somebody comfort me  
S...southern comfort me_

He ran a gentle hand over her hair. "Let it go, Kara. Let it go."

She only gripped his shirt tighter. Gradually, the sobs that wracked her body died down. She gently pushed herself off him. Sitting on the floor next to him, she was finally able to meet his eyes.

"Thank you."

She wasn't happy, but a new kind of peace had stetted inside of her, where the vat of pain had been. Her soul was still tender, but at least now she could start to heal.

_Fins_


End file.
